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Some days, the light
written in conjunction with daily mobile-creatures while in residence at The Lighthouse Works, Fishers Island, NY
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Today’s date is/“ornamental/until
ripe”/pear/to stare at/and arrange/what’s rushing past/all the day’s/windows/and take one/off the wall/a piece of mirror/I picked up/is a portal/obviously/when grass becomes visible/in the middle/of the ocean/you recognize/the difference/“the fragment,/then, somehow makes that whole/visible/or comprehensible”/it’s difficult/not to bite the thing/you’ve been waiting/for/what seems like weeks/for its edges/to soften/enough to blur/locations/juicily
I haven’t had a cough/drop in so long/in
public/but there I am/bent over/some tree’s pulpy side/and I’m the same/much as I wish/fiercely to fake out/my shadow/I want to be/like self rising bread/just there/in the warm/silent kitchen/sunny, ignored/and endlessly productive
“Recent rain/falling more/slowly”/“the
rest of the world/remains/unseen but present”/a giant/red tray/of everything/you only have to look/down to find/life/on intertidal rocks/appears/like moods/usually submerged,/exposed briefly/to signal/what zone you’re in/“once you’re familiar”/with the dominant species,/look more closely”/to play/Is it a shell/or a bottlecap?/asks you just to stop/squint for a while/before guessing/“closely/for the associated animals and plants/attached to,/feeding on,/or lurking”
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When you see/the sounds move/the
sand/in colors like/the plastics that wash/their way up/the hiding sand/again, and again, and again/tide/drawn way out/such drama/all this waiting/gets temperamental/the moon/developing/
suspense for ages/oh no/you may think/but where for this/performance/is the curtain?/don’t/worry, the moon/pulls/as a cord/the ocean/draws itself/back/or is drawn/by its spotlight/into retreat/and basks/on the stage/of all this/new/formerly hidden/sand
In the book I loaned/out and would
like/back but I have/to go get/it’s bold: “light/on two sides of a room/helps people/understand each other”/when we say/whatever it is/we say it’s how/we say it/how tone mimics/whatever light/is doing to your face/at that time/partnered/with squares that frame/the outdoors/ebbs depending/like some days/the light is narrow/and the beach is/rocky with the moon/in hiding/out to wait/for a long reveal/of sand/I startled/in my walking/like an apparition/a pond appears/to my right/still water/breaking/on my left/I pick a stone/from one/side/skip/across the other/does it matter/which/breaks/its calm/briefly/what comes/from water/on two sides/how banal/and encapsulating/golf ball in the mud/or is it/a salt-encrusted rock/I have this idea/that if I do something/then that’s the wrong way/to be doing it/so I guess/that idea’s wrong, then/which is relieving
Can’t/see you/next time/you wave your way over/across the goose/shit in my memory/or whatever your plans are/they’ve made it/through the grasses/there in my chest/and yeah, I am trying/to open something/“having someone/press down just beneath/your clavicle rly is the best/feeling on earth,” says Eliot/who knows/I’ll go find one of them/those biggest rocks and lying/flat to pin myself beneath it/close as today/will bring me/someone heavy/gray/mutant-being/the selkies I won’t stop/seeing/with my glasses off
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It’s not like/I want everything/I’ve ever eaten/to reappear on the shelves/in the same way/I’d like to know/my own memories/take a seat/comfortably/across my brain/whether I want them/or want them gone/thought I’d cut off the bad piece/of the orange but it seems/to have flooded/the membrane
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One night triangulated/the kitchen again, Kathryn/sand-colored/hair against sand-colored/stool/her clothes black/as 9 o’clock/the windows show us/nothing this time /of night/like the outside’s/at recess/and we’re stuck/mirroring ourselves/warm-lit echo/Claude at the counter/hand crouching table-shape/ shows us/how four legs/her fingers/become four legs/missing one leg/then slowly,with time which/she says it’s true/helps,/invisibly-seeming /the same/as braces/or night-blooming/ flowers/you learn you can/balance as three/though it does take thinking/that you can/and letting in/whatever/invisible shadows gently pry/the space to stabilise/in the dark
A barnacle grows/on a plastic
substrate/the most perfect mistake/no one could conceive of/a cure for recycling/til now, and now/all those small gossips/chattering on their rock/they know/isn’t one/but they made it/peaceably theatrical/useful/and yes, their white shell/bonnets/underscore their staid/insistence on economy
“An area of pressure/will
remain/slow-moving”/all the books stay/in the collection/don bespoke/plastic slipcovers/but unlike the library/you can’t take them/home/yet you may lounge/on this fainting couch/until you pass/out of this dimension/the domed ceiling begs/for a prism/opening its cache/of collected/winter sun/captured/then released/like the fish/surely in the sea outside/binoculars don’t/expire/though their casing sheds/old the way skin is/the pieces shameful/to collect/but better/than leaving/all this/encased/language can’t refract/though it can/zoom
The sign/before the harbor cautions us/so
needlessly/that things ahead/will be wet/and yet I love/this lack/of supposition/I told myself/I could/ elevate/gentle/robin’s-egg/ styrofoam/by placing it/in conversation/with this seaglass/which just a few years ago/was a beer bottle/one washed up/and one/when wet/dissolves
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In a kind of spring/modality/“wait/
quietly/for the creatures/to adjust to your presence/and resume/ their activity”/flowers painted/where they grow/in a quiet/series/of slow/ replacement/you can pick/which one you want/to be/but it will change/ “becoming/variable/later”/ barnacles/are hardened/more loyal/to wherever/they’ve made home/and that’s that/drawn shape/over the paper/when I don’t know/where next to put/my brain/chattering/no, no, no/they change/on the level/I imagine/that’s none/of our business/the work/of the growing/edge/you’ve got/to be kidding/inside/a level/the floating sphere/is called a “spirit bubble”/I’ll try/a drink tonight/but I only want/an accident/of aperol/accidentally/the glass/swims/in reds/sweater, footstool, poppies, ladybug/quiet/in its shell/and on/the shell/I thought for/its spirit
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“A slow moving/general slack/area of
low pressure”/sky the kind that’s off-/white and terse/like a manual for starch/everything/was covered in some/kind of plastic/that’s supposed to look/like other stuff/as though human forms/stretched beneath to make/these shapes these/yogic clouds/on lawns/or still on the water/the word/ “meanwhile” /spools concentric/circles/for the geese to land/or the geese/made them/and no boat can/emulate the curve/of placid movement
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Erasing the line/isn’t possible/with
color/shot across the hill/those crocuses I fear for/their innocence/the delicacy/in allowing oneself/to believe in spring/I don’t/want them up in a world/that isn’t ready/and by them/probably/I mean me/that raw hopeful/green pencil/hurts to look at/and I feel/shy for it/pencil, crocus, light/anorak/the difference between/them is always/sort of conditional/but why/is an arrangement of shapes/and weather/not an occurrence?/ don’t buds occur/to the branches/going through their/seasonality/dropping or whatever/thick crunch/the leaves take/in time/what color has to tear/through/“not drastically/probably/but effectively,/slowly” enough/happens/that it can be/recorded
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Do all of the morning-/time morning
things/fill, switch, pour, carafes/galore all these lids that need/somewhere to call home/I’m hoping/my hair will dry and I won’t/cough too much/still/life with cat/and mandolin/the daily exchange of these/growing small creatures/one of whom seems/to live/for bananas/eaten out of hand/around the table we can’t stop/talking about food/pets/and furniture/the point of this/pencil resembles/a crow more than any/I’ve seen around/here/“photography occurs”/to which I shrug/wilting daffodils/across the table/seeing them/in this light and seeing them/in that light/makes me/look through, and not at
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On this side of the island/I said/is where
the single people stay/I just meant the kitchen but the Island/is divided/by this little house/that gives you stickers/like the ones I’m constantly peeling off/fruit/why there are three on one/banana/it’s outrageous/how fast/they turn/where you can go/to not have to/hear yourself/eclipsed by perfectly round/stones in concert/with the waves/wind coming in like an aside/from the noise/there are all these boulders/to lie on and pretend/to be a seal/sunning itself/barking/some internal moan/to the outer/up on the one/rock I’m looking out/and over/and over think/I have binoculars because I held some/a week ago beside the books/in their slipcovers/and the leather strap I reach for/now/around my seal-neck/secretly/ broke/rocks, rocks, rocks/out at sea/and in between/those staid ones/on land/an S-shaped balloon/so fortunately disfigured/to become/a question mark
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I was thinking/more about the table/with
three legs/how much/as I want/ something/like a table/to have its own agency/how a dog/might be easier/to visualize/adjusting to being/off-kilter isn’t a given/but one who loses/a leg does seem to learn/to move with grace/in that configuration/over time/I think a table/needs someone/to dismantle/and reassemble/to find/a new/posture/a fourth?/again?/or is it one/of those who’d been balancing/precariously/for years and got tired/of this/version of discomfort/actually/that works as well/as a dog who learns/on its own as one/of its legs may/still have prompted the others
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The enviable thing/about oysters is their
growth/of a shell/within twelve hours/like they dream/or will/self protection/into being/while in it/the dream you have is the most/the only/real thing/it’s just living/then you have to/wake up/and off it goes/into memory/territory instantly/flexible and seamed/baby oyster/habitat-shell/it’s more like a dream/of one/has all the trappings/of protection/like a set-piece/in the night/hollow-backed /front doors that sway/when you reach out/or reach for/your arm/elongated/to touch the window/so easily/from so far away/and draw a shape/in the steam/mist or fog already/so, cagey/quick to disappear/as soon as you try/to preserve it/at twelve hours oysters/under the microscope look/full-sized, insulated and self-sustained/but at twelve hours/the shell is really/fragile and they’re all swimming/frantically to attach/to any human-placed shard/just to anchor to another/more aged, solid thing/to learn from/not to mention the baby/shell looks/actually/more like a clam
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If your eyes were/closed/while you listened/would the sounds/of the high grasses feel/even more/like the ocean’s /rushing/“intermittent/slight rain now/rising”/thought the moon would be/well-placed/for a walk that took/the most ideal/setting/is in the dark/the same color/to be seen/circulating/inky and muscular/hiding sand/and that new form/of being/that always appears/so raw/in all directions/slowly/
circulating/water allows/sediment/to settle
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We’re in a unique state of closure/that’s
basically/a peninsula/or like calling an island one/you can reach by car/historically/all this underwater land was bought/to draw some lines/somewhere/just to move/the largest boulder/on the island’s just on the side/of the road/one man climbed up and lived there/for two days/held in place under threat/of a bull, who/I guess/loitered/at its base/daffodils/continue/to gossip in clusters/and keep coming up/in phases/like the moon/but not at all/when they’re ready/to show themselves/as vulnerable/and substantial/a piece of glass tied up/with still-sharp edges/aspires to change/but I’ve stopped it/by placing it/on display/is it conscionable/to throw glass/back into the water/if it isn’t softened/at the sides/yet/
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I ate all the purple/chips in the bowl/first
because they were octagonal/and salty/and the walls of the outdoor/shower fold back/against the house/which is mostly window/anyway/frame upon/frame/of what you most recall/about your feeling/when you woke up/angry from never having/slept/in the first place/any thing you drag across/the floor/scratches at a volume ten/times what it should/right, because when you recall/a dream it’s been/mixed in/to the other swamp/of editorial/experience/all of it’s that and coming at it/whether from the shore/or some raft/fabricated/by night/I just keep thinking/of that line/“then you crossed/the logical sand”/but how did you/get there/in the first place/to cross it
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That shelf, I believe/willed its
contents/into idealism/like what you’d most want/and fit most/ perfectly/ 12x12/square of color/that’s a landscape/ in a room/a still life, too/despite the open/window’s blues/yellows and from afar/I’m happy/for it to be both/my favorite answer/to any question/ anyway/when you’ve found the right books/for the height/please don’t arrange them/any more/certainly not by color/unless you never want to/read again/anyway/another rectangle/opened in/another white room/darkened in the day/which/isn’t hard to find/some shades and make your own/light green things/all dimmed/over/bent-over/the desk lamp/impersonating/the tulip talking/to the avocado/serene on its plate/its pit secure/in its shell/the color/crystal makes in shadow/as feathery/as fronds/in a still/pitcher of water/is of course a fallacy/and really whose neck/was bent over/longer/there’s stuff in front of everything/but you get a sense of it/anyway